A Dear Friend

Dear Friend,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me.
I'm sorry I wasn't there to listen when you needed to talk.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you 'everything will be okay',
you had to find out the hard way.
I'm sorry if you ever felt I wasn't there for you.

I am sorry. I am sorry that I expected you tell me if you needed help,
instead of just knowing.

I'm sorry I didn't see you the other day
when you waved.


Thank you. Thank you for being there when
I needed you.
Thank you for listening when I needed to talk.
Thank you for telling me 'everything will be okay',
so I didn't have to find out the hard way.
Thank you for just being there.

Thank you. Thank you so much for just knowing,
not just expecting me to tell you.

Thank you for always waving when you see me,
even if I don't see you.

love from your Dear Friend....

My Moment

Are You Ok?

I know your'e not.

It's just nice to have someone

care enough to see you.

Someone care enough to ask.

You looked to me for the answer.

But we both know the solution

Was never me.

How I wish that wasn't true.

It was only a moment.

One tiny speckle of a moment in time.

This was always about you,

But I needed something too.

So that tiny speckle of a moment.

That moment is mine.

To all of my friends, To the ones who are here, and To the ones I miss x

It was a wonderful age

After today

It will be forever gone.

Although we'll miss them

Those memories

They will be forever ours.

It was a wonderful age

Those long and pointless

Care free days.

Hours of disregard and ignorance

Days of heartbreak and love

Those feelings will be forever missed.

 

It was a wonderful age

Where we lived for today

All because we could sleep tomorrow.

Sunlight hours of dangerous fun

Moonlight hours

Where we turned it all up.

 

It was a wonderful age

With promises of to never change.

We could be so selfish

But I'd do anything for you.

Safety was just a myth

We'd poison ourselves with whatever we could.

 

It was a wonderful age

Where sleep was just for mornings.

We were like vampires in the night

Tearing up the pavements

Smiling at everyone we see

Fighting everyone we meet.

 

This is a wonderful age

I promise I'll never change

Colour and Poison, Danger and Myth

The music will never stop

The world will just keep growing

....It was a wonderful age

I should have told you

And I wanted to tell you

I love you.

But I couldn't find the words.

I wanted to say

It was love at first sight.

And it was.

It doesn't matter

That you don't know.

Because I know.

This way I cant break it.

And you can't hurt me.

I would never hurt you.

I'll love you forever.

And the memories will only ever be fond one's.

....I should have told you...

I never wanted you (more than now)

I can believe you went away.
I just can't believe you didn't take me.
I guess we never were eachothers.
We never were a we.

There is no past.
Now there will be no future.
You didn't get to break my heart.
But the present hurts.

Maybe I'm dillusional.
I was probably using you.
Maybe you were using me.
But you caught me for a moment and now I'll never really be free.

I never wanted this.
I never wanted you.
But now your'e gone I miss you.
For want of nothing, i just long to kiss you.

Bruises on the heart

Bruises that no one can see.
Your heart is black and blue
And it's a fault down to you.
Because you should have never
given your heart to me.

You can ask why.
All you do is cry.
This is your life.
Make it worth while!

They all look at them eyes
and see mischieve and smiles.
I see through them eyes and the smiles
I can see hurt the hurt from my lies.

I'm already gone

I'm not here
I'm already gone.
It's the saddest of sights-
I don't know where it is, I'm from.
I didn't need words to walk this land.
All inspirations inspired
From the softest brush of your hand,
On mine.
And if I say I never Loved you.
I'd be lying.
I'm the lonesom wanderer,
They all frown upon.
I'm not here
I'm already gone.

Rich or Poor
I'll survive without you
So walk out that door

She hurt you
And You hurt Me
That wasn't how
It was supposed to be

A child without a Dad
Is nothing new
But I need to know
What did I ever do to you?

You left and never came back
But it was you who missed out
I'm a man now
All those years
You just can't get them back

Broken

Walk down that Broken Road
See all those Broken places

Look in that Broken mirror
See all those Broken dreams

Do you see that Broken man?
Everything he ever touched-
Broke

Without breaking down
Look at that Broken down man
It's just a broken reflection

For now-
My face will continue with these lies.
But if you look close enough.
You'll see pain behind these eyes.

We all want answers.
And time tells all.
But it feels like im forever building up.
Ready for a fall.

Things aren't ever amazing.
At best we'll say 'fine'.
But it doesnt seem fair you took them.
Even if they never were truly mine.

None of this really matters.
Everything is done in vain.
Such a meagre existence.
In a world filled with pain.

18.03.10

My Heart

My heart doesn't come whole.
It comes in two.
One piece for me.
And the bigger bit for you.

Some say the piece you have is best.
So when you break your piece,
I'll live with it.
And put my piece to the test.

1

All I think I want -
Is you.
But in every breaking day-
I feel my heart break.
I can't even breathe.
I can just about see.

But you'll never know.
Because I'll never tell.
The pain is killing me.
But I'd rather have you like this.
Than not have you at all.

You make me want to scream-
So loud but my lungs burst.
I just wish it counted for something-
That I saw you first.
I so badly want you for me.
But it's evident that you're happy-
Being free.

If I wasn't here.

Where would I be if I wasn't here? I could be anywhere in the world, but would I know it?
I just don't want to go there and miss here. Will this place miss me? What will happen if I came back and everything is exactly the same but completely different?
But maybe that's what I need? If it's not what I need, it's definitely what I want...I think?!
I just want to get away, go and see what that looks like. Go and feel what that feels like. Go and smell what that smells like.
I'm not trying to run away from my life. I love my life. This is my life.
I'm just scared I'm going to waste it.

Anywhere but this place

This place where I need to be.

I don't even know if i want it.

I might need it though.

It could be anywhere.

Everywhere.

Except this place.

I just need to belong.

And I don't know if

this place wants me.

Anywhere can be home

if you can make it your own.

I just don't know if I can make it on my own.

The Story

I somehow got it into my head that our lives are just like a story. I'm comfortable with the beginning and the middle, it's just the end that scares me. I like the ups and Downs a story has, I like the drama and the excitement that comes with it. But like all good stories it's sad when they come to the end.
I hope I'm the sort of story people will remember. Because I think that's all I want out of life - to be remembered. That's all I think I want at the moment, but it'll probably change. Everybody always wants more, that's just the greed of the human nature. But then wanting to be remembered I suppose is quite a greedy thing to want.

The Story

I don't know if my story has begun yet?

I don't want it to ever end though.

All the excitement and adventure.

I'm like a book with infinite words that don't mean anything,

But open whole worlds.

Everything means nothing,

But with great possesion.

They don't mean anything,

But they're everything to me.

I am the beginning.

I am the middle.

I am........